What If We Dare

My last post (and I'm sorry it's been so long between that one and this one) was all about my move to Oregon, and falling on my ass.  I mentioned in that post, finding my way into several galleries.  Since writing that post I've been looking a little deeper into what's been going right since I moved here in 2008.

I've been pretty focused, and frustrated in the whole job search, and very much aware of my outdated skills and the fact I'm not getting any younger.  All the while I've been painting, and taking steps in the direction of where I want to go - - in the direction of my original plan, which was to make a living as an artist.  

My plan was to find a job (any job), and slowly get my artwork out into the world.  The job search has been stressful, and I've run into a lot of dead ends (so many that I've lost count).  My stress management consisted of painting.  Every day I painted.  Within only a few short months I was selling some of my work from a great little shop in Salem, Oregon, and before I knew it my work was in three places in Salem, and one in Portland.  In hind sight I can see that it all happened in a blink of an eye really.

Within two years I was selling my artwork from a gallery, in Cannon Beach, Oregon! Since then I've found my way into three galleries, started my own website, and have made numerous connections within the wonderful world of art and artists.   It's thrilling to say I'm an international artist!  

I kept thinking that someday . . . someday I would be making enough money from my artwork to support myself . . . and I was so busy thinking about "someday" that I didn't realize I was already living it!  I was just too wrapped up in the fear of "what if."  

What if?  What if we dare to follow after our dream?  What if we step around fear, and take that leap of faith?

Landings

I received this card from a friend yesterday.  My fist thought was, "Yes.  I had every intention of landing on my feet when I moved to Oregon in 2008, but instead I fell on my ass."  

I moved from Colorado to be closer to family. I was confident I would find the perfect just-for-me job to support myself as I pursued my new career as an artist.  It didn't dawn on me, until I was neck deep in it, that the recession could slow me down a bit.  In regard to finding that perfect just-for-me job my life as I knew it came to a screeching halt.  I've lost track of how many jobs I've applied for, and how I've had to drastically lower my job-search standards over the past four years.  The people who did take the time to respond to my resume told me I was "over qualified," or "your skills don't match what we're looking for."  Well now, after four years of what I clearly perceived as rejection  - - one after another - - my self-esteem has taken a nose-dive.  It's crashed and burned.  

I gave myself all of the usual pep talks.  I created positive and uplifting vision boards, and I tried to keep conversations and email with friends focused only on the good things happening in my life, such as sales of my paintings and getting my artwork into galleries (a topic for another blog).  In our attempts at dream-manifestation and sending out into the universe only the highest and purest vibrations possible we've become a society that only focuses on what's good and right in the world, and in the lives of our friends.  We, as a whole, have chosen to associate with only those who are always positive and upbeat.  Those positive and upbeat friends might very well be stuffing and hiding the struggles they're experiencing,  along with their sometimes dark emotions that they're afraid to utter a word of.  In turn, those of us trying to climb up out of the pits of despair become more and more isolated, and when we attempt to share our fears, and not so cheery feelings, we're met with, "Just think positive thoughts and everything will be okay."  Really?  Try telling that to a homeless person, or to someone one step away from such a fate.

Our social media has become an endless stream of over-the-top positive, sometimes sickening cheery thoughts, and how dare anyone utter even one single word that is anything but.  I've sometimes found myself getting pretty sick of all that cheery goo, which I honestly feel is a cover up, or a mask for quite a few suffering souls who fear to speak their truth for fear of being shunned, or of the manifestion of their fears swallowing them up completely.  I'm one of those who has been hiding behind the very mask I speak of here.  I'm thankful I have friends and family I can be open and candid with.  Even having a support group, I feel pretty isolated in my struggle most of the time. I wonder about those people out there who have also fallen on their ass - - do they have family and friends willing to listen when they feel there's no hope in sight?  Do they also get a little frustrated by the endless pep talks they read on social media?  Do they feel their manifesting powers have all but dried up?

Living Life Blindfolded? Not Always a Bad Thing

Chemistry by Cher Odum 

I recently had the opportunity to enjoy some beautiful live cello and piano music.It didn't take me long to notice that almost all of the musicians had their eyes closed as they played, and they allplayed with such intense passion.  All of their heart and soul went into each and every note.Having their eyes closed reminded me of how losing one of our senses makes the others that much more keen. I could have painted my musicians with their eyes closed instead of opting for the blindfold.  However, that just didn'tseem to add the intensity of feeling I was wanting to represent in this series of works.  The blindfold captures that intense feeling for me.  It makes the viewer wonder, "What's with the blindfold?" The viewer drawn more deeplyinto the painting, searching for clues.  Some might assume that because the people are blindfolded someone elsehad to have done it to them, maybe against their will. Upon closer examination the viewer realizes that thepeople have their hands free and so could easily remove the blindfold if they wish.  The painting of the piano player also shows hearts to represent the notes played, so the viewer knows that love is flowing with the music.  There are no fearful feelings, thoughts or music.  Only love, joy, happiness and passion. I also chose to use the blindfold to express how we use our intuition, as in the painting of the dancers - "Chemistry."Chemistry isn't something we can see.  We feel it . . . or we don't.  The dancers in the painting obviously have somegreat chemistry going on between them.  They can't see one another, but they can feel the energy of their dancepartner/lover.  They have a spiritual and chemical connection that goes far beyond looks.

Cher